Where My Heart Is

So I read a story tonight that naturally had me in tears. It was about a man who does triathlons and such with his disabled 13 year old daughter. Very similar to the Hoyt family, which just makes me cry buckets. Besides just being human and having a heart, it really struck accord with me because I have a disabled child. She is not disabled to the same degree that this sweet girl is. She can walk and talk and do many things for herself. But she is handicapped. I think she'll probably always live with us, or at least require some level of care. It's so precious to see the love these parents have for these children. These are people that society writes off as invaluable, unimportant. People that we would look the other way when we see them. I shamefully admit that I too do this. Mostly out of discomfort, not knowing what to do. I don't want to make them feel as though I'm staring...but do I make them feel invisible? I don't know. I dont know how best to handle that situation. I do know this. I know why those men do that for their children. I know that I am overwhelmed with feelings for my daughter. I just quite simply adore her. I love all my children, I would do anything for each of them, but theres just something about my disabled daughter. I adore her. She is so completely precious to me. Maybe almost losing her changes my perspective? Maybe sorrow for the life she can't live? Maybe. Those things do make me sad. Break my heart really. She'll never get to play on the same sports teams with her twin sister. She'll never drive. She'll probably never live completely independently. She'll probably never get married or have children. Which means she'll never have grandchildren. Who will take care of her when I'm gone? Who will treat her the way I want her to be treated? Who will see how special and precious she is and treat her accordingly? These are all things that break and strike fear in my heart. I'm not 100% sure what the point is here tonight. I just know that I adore my daughter. I can't bear the thought of her being mistreated or treated like she is invalid, and inconvenience. She is so much more than the things that you see outwardly. She is my daughter, whom I love, whom I sacrifice for , whom I have cried countless tears over, who fills me with joy, for whom I gladly give up the plans I had for my life. So treat her well. And treat every disabled person you meet well because they have someone somewhere feeling all these same things for them...and if they don't? Then they deserve for you to treat them well even more. This is rambling and I think it doesn't make much sense. But it's my heart.

And Then My Life Was Changed

So, just about a year ago we got a dog. The kids had been wanting one F-O-R-E-V-E-R. Me? Not so much. I felt my kids were enough for me. I neither needed nor wanted anything else that poops. But, their disproportionate excitement over winning a goldfish at the fair and their subsequent devastation after said prize very predictably died two days later led my husband and I to think that perhaps it was time to get a real pet. We were not interested in investing much, if any, money in to this dog so that limited our options. Lucky for us we ended up getting a sweet dog from a friend who needed to find a new home for their dog. She was/is just perfect for us. Perfect temperament for annoying kids and just a super sweet dog....the perfect first pet. So we went on with our lives, dog now included. I noticed and became annoyed with the dog hair. It was kinda everywhere. I wear a lot of black clothes and our dog is primarily white...bad combo. I had this tinge of regret...why did we do this, I had enough dust and dirt in my house without adding in dog hair...oh well, the kids were far too attached, I was most definitely stuck with this dog. Then about 6 months ago my hubby starts thinking he wants another dog. Whaaaat? What? I like the one we have, why change things? But next thing I know we have another dog that another friend was needing a home for...whatever. This dog I'm not as thrilled with. She is extremely cute, but among other thing she is not fully house trained. This momma does not like that. But once again, the kids are attached, I'm stuck with her....and she is just melt you heart small and cute. Now summer is upon us...you know like when it's hot and dogs shed their coats. No bueno. So I'm pretty much feeling hopeless over the dog hair situation. My house is being over run with dog hair dust bunnies and I just can't keep up, my vacuum can't keep up. It was a bad situation. On most days there was about 0% chance that my kids were going to mke it out the door not being covered in dog hair. I was becoming a little despondent over the situation. Finally I decided it was time for a new vacuum. The old one was clearly not up to the challenge. So I started looking around. Well it seemed the vacuums most recommended for dealing with pet hair were a little out of my price range. And the ones in my price range had mixed reviews. I only have carpet in the bedrooms so I didn't feel like I wanted to spend a lot of money. So I was a little discouraged. I didn't want to waste money on something that wouldn't work and didn't want to spend a lot of money. And then I saw it. There was a coupon for a shark vacuum in the Costco coupons. It called out to me. From the prices I looked up on line it looked like this was a little out of my price range, but I just had to go and check it out when I made my monthly trip to Costco. Turns out that with the coupon it was right in my price range, like the exact price I was wanting to spend. So I snatched that thing right up. I assembled it as soon as I got home and went right to work. Now. To say that this vacuum is good is a gross understatement. This vacuum is FANTASTIC! Just perfect!! Vacuums up all the dog hair with ease and also is great on my floors that don't have carpet. My life is different now...better. I have been vacuuming anything and everything for days. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that the air quality in my house is better. I have cleaned things that I have never cleaned in the 7 years we have lives in this house. I want to clean just so I can use my fantabulous vacuum. It's a little crazy that I feel this way over a vacuum, but I do. I mean I'm a stay at home mom, what else do I have. I love my new shark vacuum. I would recommend it to anyone. It was well worth every penny I paid.

Been A While...Again

Wow, I guess it has been more than a little while. I actually am surprised that I could even still log in to this blog. But in truth, I would totally love to start blogging regularly. I have just recently become interested in reading other people's blogs, and I really enjoy it. And then I think to my self...I could do this...why don't I do this??...and then I thought to myself...wait, I have done this (briefly) and I could do it again. So it took a small amount of effort to look this blog back up and just like that, I'm back in business.
 So, all the things I said before are still holding true. I am still a stay at home mom, I am still loving it, I still have four kids (thank God!)...so I guess in the big picture everything is still the same from a few years back. But...actually everything is different. My kids are bigger for one:(. I don't have babies anymore. I have kids. They are all in school and are growing and maturing and it's so fun...mixed with sad;). I am homeschooling my special needs child. That is a challenge. I am very seriously considering homeschooling my other three children in the near future...that will be infinitely more challenging. We have made major changes in the way we parent our children and the future goals we have for our family...all for the best if you ask me. We are definitely not the people we were when I first started this blog. I am ready to embrace those changes and run with them. To stop caring what the world thinks and do what is right for my family. It is uncertain but exciting times around here, and I hope to start sharing it on this blog!