Fail Trip

So. My sister, her two kids, my three daughters, and myself made a trip to Disneyland this week. The trip was iffy for about a week or so because I had been sick. I decided I was well enough to go and we went on with our plans. But it was off to a rough start from the very beginning. I never really got myself fully back in order after being sick before it was time to go. I am a big list maker. I just like to sit down and write out my plan and think it through and so on. Then once I have my list made I can get things done really quickly. But my house was a disaster...the kind of disaster that takes place when a stay at home mom is sick in bed for over a week and the (not stay at home) hubs has to take over. Bad things happen to a house in such a situation. Anyhow, though I was feeling better, I didn't get my list made and I didn't get my house back in order. For me, this was two big strikes on my trip because these are two things that feel like a necessity for me to go out of town. The day finally came. It's the kids last day of school (exciting), I have a doctors appointment, and another appointment, I have packed nothing, my house is a disaster, I need to go shopping for the food/snacks I will take with me, I have no list...seems like potentially more than two strikes. I get all these other things taken care of (except for the cleaning) and I'm down to the packing. As I'm packing I say to the hubs, "Hubs, could you get the annual passes out." The annual passes are important, they are our tickets into the park, our tickets into the park that are already paid for. I have a phobia of forgetting them, of getting to Disneyland without our passes that we already paid much money for. So my hubs proceeds to look as I continue to pack. The packing is going well. We are only going to be gone two nights, we really don't need much. Problem...Hubs can't find the annual passes. Boo. I keep packing, sure they will show up. Hubs lets me know that he really can't find them and doesn't know where else to look. I say, "Hubs, how could this be." He thinks he threw the away. As I'm sure anyone can tell, time has just momentarily stood still. Here's the situation. I am, in a very disorganized fashion, about to leave for a funfilled trip to Disneyland with my sister (who has herself just spent much money on tickets). My hubs can not locate the tickets that we have already spent much money on. This does not make me happy. This, in fact, upsets me. So I'm going to make what is becoming a long story short, I call Disneyland, they inform me I can just one time get a temporary pass for no additional charge. This is good, because I don't know if I've mentioned this or not but I've already spent much money on our annual passes and I'm not super interested in spending more. So. We get on our way. Late. Like I want to say about 8:00pm for what promises to be a solid 4-5 hour drive. These are the things that happen when I don't make a list. Nothing eventful happens on the way. Being so late the traffic is good, my sister and I only yell at each other once I think. We get there, very late, very tired, but fairly safe, and it had been like 2 hours since we yelled at each other so we were over it. We go right to sleep. And we sleep pretty good. But something funny happens the next morning. My sister gets her first introduction to how I don't travel one day and then move quickly in the morning the next. She was very gracious to me about it because she thought I was still getting over being sick...little does she know that even with perfect, optimal health I wouldn't be moving any faster. That's just me. It's part of my charm. So we finally make it on over to the magic kingdom. I want to say its almost noon. We get in line to get my temporary passes. I mention to her that we are coming back the next day, so I actually need 2 day passes. Simple enough. She then brings up an excellent, yet previously unnoticed point-my season passes are blacked out for the 2nd day. I stand there, and say, "Oh really?" It just then occures to me that I never checked the blackout dates, I just decided I wanted to go to Disneyland and then I went in a disorganized manner. So here's the situation. I'm at Disneyland with my kids, my sister, and her kids. I can only get in to the park one of the two days we had planned to go, I will not pay the $280 it would cost for them to let me in on a blackout day. My sister has already paid for two days which costs much more than one day and I'm fairly certain she might kill me. Fortunately she had already been planning to upgrade her tickets to season passes. They give you dollar for dollar credit for the tickets you already bought when you do this. So she does not really lose any money, and she does not kill me. We finally make our way into the park. At which time we learn that Disneyland is actually closing at 7:00pm on this blessed day....we had kind of expected 10:00pm or maybe midnight, but once again we didn't check ahead of time so really how were we to know. So, ok, there's nothing we can do but get in there and make the best of it. So we did. We had fun. We had the blessing of my precious handicapped child who got us through a lot of lines faster. Can I just say that if you've never gone to Disneyland with a handicapped person, you should. It is amazing. Of course, there are some rides my daughter can not go on because she is in fact handicapped, this isn't some sort scam we are pulling. She doesn't go on any of the really fast, jerky rides. So no Matterhorn, California Screamin, Space Mountain,or oddly enough Tea Cups...those really fling you around people. But these are in the minority at Disneyland, that is why we like it. But all the normal, nice rides? We are all over that handicap line. Now I'm about to reveal something a little embarrassing. We didn't get to Disneyland until noon...we did not stay till it closed either. I'm sure my sister could have made it, but she later told me that she thought maybe I really wasn't feeling well enough to be there, and she felt kinda bad, and she had mercy on my poor, out of shape soul. And we left before it closed. We went out to a wonderful dinner and then we went to bed and I'm pretty sure I didn't roll over or otherwise move all night, I was beat. So the next day was full of plenty of adventure of its own. We ended up labeling our trip "Fail Trip". But we did have fun, I'm glad I got to go with just my sister. I'm glad she didn't kill me over the tickets, and I'm also glad to be home.

Man Sick

So my hubs is sick. I don't think it's the flu...hopefully it won't turn into the flu either. I love this man. He is my partner in life, he works a job he hates so I can stay home with our kids, he puts up with me and all my hormonal craziness, he has made many changes in his life over the last 4 years, all for the best. I want him to feel better...very soon. The problem is that I can't stand taking care of him. He is such a baby when he is sick and it drives me crazy!! Man colds and man sickness is a very real thing. The way it works in our house is that when one parent is sick, they are quarantined into our room. We try our best to keep the kids out and the sick one just rests. So that means they are mostly in their alone. I only go in their to take him food and such. But here's the thing. When I go in their he can't just be like, "I need more water" or " I would like some menudo" or "I need more Motrin". No, that would be far too easy. Instead, whenever I come in the room he moans and groans...like a baby who can't talk, people...and just in general acts like he's dying. He tells me he's hungry at 8:30 in the morning. He doesn't say what he wants, just that he's hungry. So I bring him a bowl of cereal. His cereal. His gluten free cereal that he bought when he went to the store, which leads me to believe that he must like this cereal. I bring it to him. As he goes to all the great effort it requires to sit up in bed...since he's dying...and looks into the bowl it's not gratitude or appreciation I get from him. No no, he says "what's this". He looks at it, getting a few spoonfuls and dropping them back into the bowl as if it was gruel or something. And says, "Oh, its not menudo? Should I even be having milk? Won't that make me all phlegmy?"...It's so annoying. It makes me want to put him out of his misery...in the most loving way possible. He just drives me crazy. So here I am on the couch, I don't sleep with him to try and avoid his germs. So I'm sleeping on the couch, I'm doing all the regular housework and child care, and I'm having to deal with him. It's too much. It turns my normal delightful demeanor into one...less than delightful. I hope no one else gets it, though I am a nicer nurse to my children than to him. I mainly hope he feels better soon...real soon.

Starting Back Up

Now that the holidays have passed I'm going to try to get back into blogging. We had a wonderful Christmas, really wonderful. I have a great family and I love to be able to spend time with them. I love having my kids home from school. Every year when Christmas break is abou over I think man, it would be great to homeschool them and have them here all the time...I'm not quite ready to make that jump, but maybe soon. We made a trip to the coast and a quick trip to Disneyland over the break. It was really great as we have not been able to make many trips in the last few years. We ended up getting a season pass to Disneyland and we are planning to go again in a few weeks for my daughters birthday. I am the assistant coach for the high school basketball team at my kids school. It keeps me busy and takes up a lot of our week. I am excited to get going with this year and see what changes our family will make through out the year. There are going to be a few, and I'm anxious to see just how many it turns out to be. I'm so thankful for my family and everything that I have. A personal goal of mine, not just this year but always, is be content. To be happy with what I have, not always looking and wanting, just be happy and appreciative for what I have, no matter how much or little it is. It's hard. Really hard. But I'm determined. I don't want to be materialistic and never happy. I want to be greatful and content. And I want my children to be also. It's a challenge for sure. There's so much to be thankful for. There's nothing in this world I need. I don't have it all, I assure you, but I certainly have everything I need and nothing to complain about. I'm so thankful for Jesus. That He loves me, that He's changing me day by day, and that I can be assured of my salvation. What a gift! Happy New Year!

Perspective

So if you hadn't picked up on it from some of my past posts, I'm a pretty conservative gal. I'm pretty much devoutly conservative...I guess border lining on radically. I did not vote for Obama, I am not happy he won, and I hope the next four years go quickly. I had been nervous coming into this election. I wanted so badly for Romney to win. I realized that I was operating fearfully. I'm a fearful person, full of worry and what ifs. I really dislike that about myself. So I decided to change my perspective. I believe God is sovereign. I believe He alone gives governmental power and he takes it away. We fool ourselves into thinking we are in control, but everything is working out the way God has chosen. What He says will happen, WILL HAPPEN. This is so freeing. So liberating. For me. So, I chose to free myself of my fear. I did not dwell on the election coverage and results. I did not watch the news all day Tuesday. I did not get on Facebook, I did look up any results until right before I went to bed. There were moments in the day when I was tempted to go look. But overall it was so relaxing to ignore it and trust God for the outcome. Obviously, as a devout conservative, the outcome was not what I was hoping for. But I'm ok with it. My perspective is changed. It is such a good reminder to me that this world is not my home. Helps me with my eternal perspective. God has a plan, He's working it out right now, it will turn out just as He wants it to. And I'm deciding that that is good enough for me. There are several songs that have been running through my head this week. The opening line of one says, "Men will try to rule the world you made, but we know power is yours alone to give and take." I can't tell you how that comforts me! All power and authority are Gods alone!! Another one that has comforted me about many things says, "What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life, is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy. What if trials of this life, the rains, the storms, the hardest nights, are your mercies in disguise." What an earth shaking truth for me. So things didn't go the way I had hoped. It's not the first time, it certainly won't be the last. But guess what? It's okay. Because, "My hope is in you Lord, all the day long. I won't be shaken by drought or storm. The peace that passes understanding is my song, and I sing, My hope is in you Lord!

No Halloween Here

So, we decided to skip Halloween this year. Not for any religious or political reason. We are Christians, but I've never felt that boycotting Halloween was a requirement for being saved. My parents didn't allow us to participate in Halloween and I always hated it, I didn't want to do that to my kids. I did go back and forth a little between how I was raised and making my own decision and finally decided that we would let our kids trick or treat. We usually only went to a few of the streets near ours. And once their buckets were full or they were bored and wanted to start digging in then we would head home. We never did the neighborhood hopping or running around all night trying to fill up a whole pillow case with candy. I don't understand why parents would want their kids to go out and collect that much candy. Just a few houses and we were done. Last year we only handed out candy because two of my kids were gone to a previous commitment and the other two and I just stayed home for a quiet night. This year we kinda planned to do the same. Not go out, but just have some activities at home and hand out candy. Then one of my girls said. " I don't really want to hand out candy." What? Uh, ok. Fine by me. So instead the girls helped me make dinner and pumpkin rolls (a fall must have in our family), and we watched a movie and painted pumpkins. It was fun. My girls really helped me in the kitchen, with minimal squabbling, and helped make a task I wasn't really looking forward to much more bearable. And it was nice to have a quiet but fun evening. This was our first time to paint pumpkins. It was fun, though I did get a little stressed by all the mess we had already made, and started to get a little overwhelmed. But it was a fun evening and I think my kids enjoyed it too. I hope we've found our new Halloween tradition because it was fun, peaceful, and so much cheaper than buying four costumes and candy to hand out. I'm am totally in no way usually a fun mom. I am a business mom. I have work to do, and I have four kids with a four year age difference from oldest to youngest, they can just play with each other. But this is truly one of my biggest regrets of mothering so far. That I didn't sit down and just be with my kids. I've always been here, they are "with me", but I'm always busy. So it's nice when I plan something to be fun, and it actually turns out that way.

And My Heart Heals a Little More

So I have four kids. Three of them are very typical, all American type kids. They play soccer and basketball, are involved in our church, get good grades, get along with others...just normal, typical kids. I love each of them dearly. They are precious gifts. Then I have my 4th child...she is one of my twins, but she is technically the youngest. She's not so typical, doesn't really do well in school. She is handicapped. She had bacterial meningitis when she was three weeks old and has a severe brain injury. She has many small issues. She's legally blind, profoundly deaf in one ear, she has cerebral palesy, hydrocephalus, in the last year or so she's developed a seizure problem that we thought we were past and, is just generally developmentally delayed. She has some relatively minor behavior issues that can be contributed partially to her seizure medicine that causes personality changes and partially to being babied a bit...just a bit;). I believe she will always live with me, or at least require some degree of care, she'll never drive, she'll likely never marry or have children, she won't go to the prom or to college, she won't have grandchildren or someone to grow old with. Now, on paper, she might seem like quite a large responsibility, and she is. But there's no way you can possibly make an accurate assessment of her on paper. She is so much more than all those issues. She has a good sense of humor, she's funny and sassy. She's incredibly friendly and accepting of anyone who is friendly back. She's so loving, and appreciative of the simplest things. She's very smart in her own way, and works very hard at trying to figure out her school work and the world around her. She enjoys life and rarely seems to realize that she has limitations. She sometimes says things she shouldn't because she doesn't filter very well. These are all things you can't tell by reading about her issues on paper, or seeing her go by in her wheelchair (that she has just for when we are going to out for along time...she can walk). She is ridiculously precious and I treasure her like nothing else. Because she wasn't supposed to survive the meningitis, and when she did they said her brain damage was so bad that she would never be anything more than a vegetable. That's excruciating news, nothing any parent would want or should have to deal with. There were times when I honestly thought I might die from having a broken heart. I definitely felt like I didn't want to live with that broken heart. But here we are, 7 years down the road from those most terrible days. Things are not perfect, she still has many issues and obstacles in her life. But my heart has healed. There are moments it's still broken...for the child I thought I'd have, for the experiences she won't get to have...for what could have been I guess. But we have healed a great deal in 7 years. She brings us so much joy and laughter and happiness, there's no way we couldn't have healed a little. There are moments that hurt our hearts for our precious daughter. Like when we quietly leave her with her grandma while we go do something that is not appropriate for her, or when she wants to do something she is physically unable to do, when we see her twin sister doing things that we can only hope she will do someday in the future. Then there are moments that heal our hearts. Like when she started to smile, started to talk, started to walk at three and a half. This weekend we had a moment that healed our hearts, I'm still on cloud nine over it. There is a soccer league for handicapped kids. When I looked into it before we all agreed that she was too small and fragile. Well, as I was walking out to my sons game this week we ran across the handicapped group. I stopped and talked to the leader just to get some info for next year. Much to my surprise and unbelievable delight they welcomed her to start playing right that instant. They gave her a uniform and off she went. She is so happy. SO HAPPY. She feels like she is just like her brother and sisters now. It's super precious...and my heart heals a little more.

Seriously?

So. I just saw another article on slate. It annoyed me and I didn't even read it. It was titled "Sidelined: Why are there still no women coaching men's sports? And why don't we care?" Seriously? Is this seriously what we are coming to? We have already established that I am not a feminist...well I am, just not a liberal feminist. But surely it doesn't take a "rather conservative" girl to see that this is just craziness. Is there ever going to be a line that we don't cross? A line where we say, this is for men and this is for women? How about, just so we can be fair, men start throwing a little girl, hissy fit about the fact that they have to come up with the technology for men to start carrying babies yet. Come on men, don't just stand there, all happy with yourself and stuff, stand up for yourself, lets hear some whining about all the things that women get and can do that you can't. It's really out of control if you ask me. While I agree there does need to be a little regulation on how women are treated in the work force, such as being paid the same wage for the same work as men, being treated respectfully in the workplace. Those are just human decency issues. Women getting to coach a professional men's football team? That's girls being whiny girls, giving us all a bad name. Want to know why there are jobs that just are men's jobs? Because men and women are different. Made equal in the eyes of The Lord, but for different purposes. And you know what? God called what he had made good....the men and the women. When God called His creation good He meant that it was fitting of Him, which is perfection. God made the women to be a suitable helper for the man. Not his slave, maid, or servant. His helper, to counsel, encourage, advise, and uplift him. Not to take over, not to boss, not to control. Very few of us operate the way God intended, but that's the way it should be. We should not feel oppressed, controlled, or minimized by this. We should feel loved, honored, protected. God gave us a natural protector. And instead of appreciating it, we fight it, we say we can do it all on our own, we say we don't need the gift God gave to us. I'm not saying I'm perfect, it's hard to relinquish control. But I absolutely appreciate my husbands role in our life. He works, he does the dirty work, the hard work, the heavy work, he has the final say on big financial matters, among other things. I gladly do the "women's" work. I do the cooking, cleaning, the majority of the child care, the doctors visits, and so on and so on. I'm very glad I don't have to go to work everyday and instead get to be home with my kids. I'm so glad for the financial support and willing heart of my husband to let me stay home. He has an ugly job that he doesn't enjoy, but he does it so I can be home. That makes me feel loved. Why is it so unacceptable for women to be women and men to be men in this day and age? Why can't we just be happy being who we are, who God made us to be? Oh wait. That's right. We've decided that God didn't make us, that we climbed out of the slime and magically ended up this way. Well guess what, that idea stinks, bad. For one, because its wrong, and for two because it devalues human life. We didn't accidentally end up here by being the strongest or biggest or toughest. We are here, we are the way we are, because God wanted us this way and made us this way. He has a purpose for each of us, and He loves us. When we see this truth then we can live with that purpose. It's ok to be who we are, to do what we were made to do. Instead of feeling like we need to scratch and claw our way to the top so we can stay the biggest, strongest, and toughest. I hope I never see the day that women coach professional men's sports. I won't feel like its a victory for women, but instead a defeat. Maybe more like a forfeiture, because it will be something we gave away, not something that was taken. You know I did read one little snippet of the article. There was apparently a women who was the head coach of an NBA development team, she seemingly did well, was respected, and guess what? She quit after one year in the position to go home and spend more time with her son....Interesting.